Same struggles. I do avoid phone in evening when with kids for same reasons- of course then I’ll pick it up to do something for one of my kids, like add a calendar date or a todo or buy toothpaste for them, and by all means find myself distracted. When I’m out with friends it’s the same- I barely look at it, if at all, because I’m being present.
No good advice from me, just that I feel the same.
"urgency culture" bothers me so much and i felt so proud of myself when i silenced every notification on my phone except for when my partner calls me. that's it. it's been like the old days; when i return to the phone i'll eventually see whatever it was.
I can really relate to this. I work in DJing, and so being online a lot is (I tell myself) a necessary part of promotion, networking and research. In reality, I'm just addicted like so many other people (and as a 6-year recovering alcohol and drug addict, I know I'm prone to this sort of thing!)
Some things that can help - I have a box that I can put my phone in, set a timer, and I can't get to it until the timer expires, be that ten minutes or ten hours. What is interesting is how the moment any friction or discomfort arises in whatever task I'm trying to focus on, I get an urge to check my phone, and then I realise I can't. It's SO CLEARLY a distraction that I use to avoid doing things that are causing even mild mental discomfort
I also use a couple of apps to block my access to social media for most of the day (both as apps and as browser based access), and then in the short windows I allow myself, I have 15 minutes per hour, for all apps combined. In total maybe giving myself 1hr30 max per day on those sites, if I use every available minute. It helps me avoid doom scrolling, and shows how little time you actually need to post things and to check on the news that matters to you.
Same struggles. I do avoid phone in evening when with kids for same reasons- of course then I’ll pick it up to do something for one of my kids, like add a calendar date or a todo or buy toothpaste for them, and by all means find myself distracted. When I’m out with friends it’s the same- I barely look at it, if at all, because I’m being present.
No good advice from me, just that I feel the same.
"urgency culture" bothers me so much and i felt so proud of myself when i silenced every notification on my phone except for when my partner calls me. that's it. it's been like the old days; when i return to the phone i'll eventually see whatever it was.
I can really relate to this. I work in DJing, and so being online a lot is (I tell myself) a necessary part of promotion, networking and research. In reality, I'm just addicted like so many other people (and as a 6-year recovering alcohol and drug addict, I know I'm prone to this sort of thing!)
Some things that can help - I have a box that I can put my phone in, set a timer, and I can't get to it until the timer expires, be that ten minutes or ten hours. What is interesting is how the moment any friction or discomfort arises in whatever task I'm trying to focus on, I get an urge to check my phone, and then I realise I can't. It's SO CLEARLY a distraction that I use to avoid doing things that are causing even mild mental discomfort
I also use a couple of apps to block my access to social media for most of the day (both as apps and as browser based access), and then in the short windows I allow myself, I have 15 minutes per hour, for all apps combined. In total maybe giving myself 1hr30 max per day on those sites, if I use every available minute. It helps me avoid doom scrolling, and shows how little time you actually need to post things and to check on the news that matters to you.